godmuva:

Why people ask me shit like “how was work?” or “how is school?” like work is work, school is school, I would rather be on a yacht right now while gettin some dick but here I am

  • Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
  • girl: ....who?
  • me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*
  • osjecam:

    sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis

    spagheteen:

    i never run voluntarily so if u ever see me running you should start running too bc something is coming

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